For me, providence means that God, in His infinite wisdom and love, has “marked out” a path for us, which we can recognize and walk in the light of the Holy Spirit.
This is the path that is best for our souls and will bring us best forward on the path of holiness.
This also applies to the choice of a marriage partner. If we are called to marriage, then God also has a very specific person in mind for us and with His help we can find this optimal match. God knows how we choose, God knows what is best for us. But as in all things, we also have the opportunity to go against the counsel of His divine love and providence and reject His suggestion and let ourselves be guided by completely human motives.
The Holy Scriptures give several examples of this, foremost among them the holy couple: Joseph and Mary. God himself chose the Blessed Virgin Mary as His mother and Saint Joseph as her spouse. He destined these two for each other. From eternity.
Especially in winter, I think particularly of the decisive episode in their lives: the miracle of the blossoming branch. When the temple was looking for a suitable husband for the blessed virgin, all potential candidates were invited. Each was to bring a stick on which he had carved his name. The one whose stick would then blossom would be the bridegroom chosen by God for Mary. They searched in vain for a long time; no branch blossomed. And they had almost given up hope, since all the candidates they could find had already appeared. Finally, they remembered St. Joseph, who lived in seclusion, tracked him down, brought him to the temple—and behold, his branch blossomed: a magnificent, lily-like bud sprang forth.
On Saint Barbara's Day, there is still a similar old custom. All the names of potential candidates are carved into Barbara branches, and the one whose branch blooms first is considered “the right one.” I would be cautious about this “oracle.” It may well be that the right one is not even listed on these branches! And then draws the wrong conclusions from it...
But still: I am convinced that the right person does exist. For everyone who has a true calling to the sacrament of marriage. I just recommend another way to identify him.
So how do you find this ideal spouse?
1. Carefully examine your vocation in prayer and under the guidance of your spiritual advisor, i.e., a good priest. Take your time doing this.
2. Once you are clear about your vocation, pray until God clearly leads you to the right person. Pray also for your future spouse, that God will preserve him or her for you, allow him or her to grow in virtue, and grant you the grace to meet at the right time.
How can I be sure that he is “the one”?
You will feel a wonderful peace in your heart that will give you certainty. Absolute certainty. You will both just know. Then ask your priest for his judgment and opinion with confidence. It is very important that you have a spiritual guide, also as a couple together.
For marriage is a sacred vocation, and the more your love is focused on God, the more intense the trials and tests will be—even before the engagement and marriage. Just think of St. Joseph's doubts when he found Mary unexpectedly pregnant! Or Anna and Joachim—for a year, Joachim did not dare to return home when his sacrifice was rejected. Sad and discouraged, full of shame...but the Holy Spirit brought these two back together again: and they were wonderfully blessed with the conception of Mary!
Some questions to make sure it is true love:
- What kind of love is it? Do you love his body, his money, his image...?
- Or do you love his soul?
- And he? How is his love for you? Pure, self-less, caring...?
- Does your love stand the test of trials, illness, suffering?
- Are you willing to carry the cross with him, out of love? Spouses are meant to be a help for each other.
What is the goal of your love? Heaven? Or “the world”? Do you share the desire to become saints together by the grace of God? Is God truly “the heart” of your love? Or do you focus only on worldly things?
If you have found such a gracious love, you can be sure that it is “the one.” God has intended this one person, with all their strengths and weaknesses, as a “complete package” for you, and you for them. Such love is like a precious pearl. Often you have to “sacrifice” a lot for it, leave a lot behind. But for this treasure, for a truly holy marriage, it is worth it! Yes, even families can resist our calling with good intentions. But then... God's will is above human will. Entrust yourself to a good priest, he will guide you.
Ah, and please don't misunderstand the term “the right one”: of course, as normal human beings, we are all sinners and have flaws and weaknesses that also become apparent in our relationships. Illness and the various demands and hurdles of everyday life can often throw us off track. That's normal.
So, I believe that there is a perfect spouse meant of God for us. We can follow our vocation in this aspect, or reject it. And God knows in any case of our decision in advance.
Saint Joseph, please pray for us! Amen.
Related video on our channel:
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/lz9dJRToN5g
Titelbild: "El sueño de san José" de Francisco Rizi, hacia 1665, óleo sobre lienzo, 167'64 x 114'3 cm, Indianápolis, Newfields, <https://upload.
Zweites Bild: Giovanni Battista Tiepolo: "Angel con corona de azucenas". <https://commons.wikimedia.
-_WUS07589.jpg)
No comments:
Post a Comment